Birth Story, continued.

By this time, you know how she was born and that he ended up in the NICU.
Continued: My daughter was born after going to the delivery room and trying to push for two hours. This whole time, including the hours leading up to it, my family is in the waiting room, having traveled from hours away. My family and my three friends. When Rachel and Melissa got sick of waiting, they busted through the nurses station to get to my room. They came in right after I delivered her. Literally a couple mins later.

Melissa, Rachel, Ember and I. 

Once Ember was born, the nurses took her and weighed her. I was able to get off the table right away and go watch them weigh her and take her measurements. \I shouldn't have been able to get off the bed, but because my epidural had worn off completely, I could feel my legs and just got up. The doctor was shocked. 

Once they had weighed her, they took her blood and checked her in the nursery. They brought her back to me to nurse to get some colostrum to see if that would help her blood sugar levels. It didn't help, so they went and gave her formula.  That didn't help either. They ended up taking her to the NICU and hooked her up to a sugar drip and a feeding tube. 

My family didn't even get to see her because they rushed her off so fast. 

Nobody ever expects their child to be in the NICU when their entire pregnancy was a breeze and they took care of themselves. Literally all I could do was hold her fingers through the glass the whole first day. The next day the hospital released me and I would end up going home to pump and the driving back and feeding her every three hours for the next 6 days. 

Ember's heart rate had dropped during one of her feedings, which is what caused her to be in there for an additional five days. Her blood sugar had evened out after a few days and she could have gone home then, had her heart rate not dropped. 

She ended up becoming severely jaundiced while in the NICU and had to be put under a UV blanket to make it clear up, so she could come home with us. 

Mommy holding Ember just post delivery, before they took her blood and took her off to the NICU

Melissa holding Ember for the first time in the NICU

Auntie Rachel (Ember's Godmom) holding Ember

Mommy being upset that her baby was in the NICU and couldn't go home

Daddy feeding Ember, while she holds Mommy's hand

Ember was jaundiced and had to be in a UV blanket for a day

more UV blanket

Daddy holding Ember in the NICU

Ember with her IVs and feeding tube

Angelic, even hooked up to IVs

Daddy burping Ember

Papa Jay holding Ember for the first time

\

We finally got to bring her home on November 16th in the morning, We truly had some of the best nurses and doctors that a baby could ever need. We were blessed to have her at Fountain Valley Hospital. (I was also born there, as well as several other family members.)

                                      

The handoff. She was free to go home!

First car ride in Daddy's Grandfathers truck

Ember meets her brothers, Rito and Bean

Finally home with all my babies

First time in her crib

Many more firsts to blog about. It has taken me over two years to finally finish this aspect of the birth story. If this is any indication of when I will get around to the rest, the dont hold your breath. I am going to write another short update right now, but not about Ember. A lot has changed in the last two years of our lives. 

Our Birth Story (graphic)

Finally going to update this. Its only been 7 months, and Ember is 6 months old already!

Two weeks before I give birth, Erik gets laid off from his job. The asshole that hired him basically hired him to clean up and organize his warehouse and once Erik was done with that, they laid him off. Can you say, Stress much?

Saturday, November 5th, 2011: We get to the doctors and I am exhausted and just wanting to hear good news. I really wanted to give birth on 11-11-11 and was hoping that she would keep cooking until then and then I would get induced or have a csection on that day. That wasnt exactly what happened. The doctor checks me out and I am partially effaced and not really dilated at all. He decides he wants to induce me that Monday, the 7th. He calls Fountain Valley Hospital to schedule my induction for 5am that Monday. I am freaking out in my head, thinking, WAIT!!! That's way too soon! I still need to deep clean the house and get everything done before she is supposed to come home. Thankfully, the hospital is full up on inductions for that morning, so they push it to November 8th, at 5am, my actual due date.

Tuesday, November 8th, 2011: Bags have been packed for weeks now. Get up at 4am to get there by 5am. We get to the hospital and are put into a room. There are 3 csections and 2 regular births scheduled for that day. Lots of babies happening!

This is me about to get changed into my hospital gown.. Its actually happening!!

They get me set up and on the monitors and check to see if I am having contractions. I am having contractions, and have dilated to 2 cm and didnt know it. I guess even if I had tried to wait until the 11th, she was ready to come now. They get an IV drip in my arm and start the Pitocin. I am great for about 45 mins to an hour. Then I start to feel the contractions. Then they get a little bit worse.

Erik and I before the contractions started in. Happy to finally get to see our daughter!

The only problem at this point, is that there is only one anesthesiologist and 6 pregnant women about to give birth. Either I got my epidural early, at 3 cm, or I might not get it at all. Hmm, I wonder. So I got the epidural. The anesthesiologist was super nice and explained everything. She made Erik leave the room, because I guess most men cant handle seeing a huge needle go in their woman's spine. He left and got a snack. The numbing shots that I got before the epidural needle line was put in, stung so bad, it was almost worse than the childbirth itself. Once they start the Epidural line, I am grand. I cant stand anymore, so they have to put in a catheter. That was very uncomfortable for a while.. (side note: a student doctor did it and I ended up getting a bladder infection so bad that I had to go to the ER weeks later, when I woke up Erik from shaking with a fever of 102.)

At this point, I dont feel anything and I am super exhausted from getting up so early and not being able to sleep the night before. I take a nap for four hours. Erik tried to sleep, but the chair didnt make a good bed, poor guy. I wake up and I am still not feeling anything. So I play on my phone to pass the time. I think my family showed up around then. They couldnt come in though. They had to wait in the waiting room. All of them showed up together, coming from pretty far away. My two best friends also were there. A few hours pass and:

5pm: Doctor comes in to check my progress and I am ready to push. Fully effaced, dilated and crowning. The doctor runs home to get his gym bag, while the nurses move me into a delivery room and help me practice pushing. I start pushing as soon as he gets back. I swear hes only gone for like 5 mins. I push, and push and push and push some more. I push for 1.5 hours and nothing. They can see her head playing peekaboo with my pelvic bone. The nurse says oh my gosh, thats a lot of hair! I get excited, and push harder, but to no avail. The doctor decides to use a vaccuum on her to help her out. In the middle of all this, the epidural has worn off. I think it has something to do with the fact that legs were up in the stirrups for so long, that the blood flow wasnt bring the epidural where it should have been. It registers that I am starting to feel pain, but it isnt that bad and I for some reason think that this is normal. I find out later, that I shouldnt have felt anything. I push and the vacuum does its job and get her head past my pelvic bone. The only problem is that the pain is so severe that I am yelling and in tears. The doctor keeps telling me to push, but when I push it hurts. When I stop pushing it hurts. I am exhausted and kind of just lay there. I scream out "get this fucking baby out of me!!!" the doctor yells at me and tells me that I need to help get her out and push. A couple more pushes and she is finally out. The moment she is out, there is such sweet relief. The pain is gone and I have this beautiful daughter of mine laying in my lap getting cleaned off by nurses. I look down at her and then lay back and cry tears of relief and joy.

Welcome to the world Ember Rose Gray

So relieved!!!

Daddy cuts the cord.

Now the graphic part: I ripped from one end to the other. My doctor swears up and down that if you do not get an episiotomy and you rip, that you will heal better ripping than with an episiotomy. I dont know what kind of crack he is smoking, but either way, I ripped and it sucked. Especially getting the stiches, when I had no more epidural. The only good part about the epidural wearing off, was that I was able to get off the delivery bed and walk to the bathroom and to the bed where they measured and took Ember's birthweight.

Ember Rose Gray. Born November 8th, 2011 at 7:10pm. Weight 7.7lbs and 23 inches long.

Super long and skinny little baby!

It's amazing how much giving birth takes out of a woman.

Before they weighed her and took her measurements, they had us do skin to skin. Fountain Valley Hospital is a big believer in skin to skin bonding, and I very much enjoyed that moment.

Our perfect and new little family.

There is a lot more that happened that day, but I will continue in another blog and tell you about her experience in NICU and when she first met everyone. Then I will post another about all her firsts so far. If you got this far, congrats! You now know probably way more than you wanted to. LOL

37.5 weeks

Well, I have just started my maternity leave, as of the 17th. It's been pretty boring, but relaxing at the same time.
Erik and I have completed our birthing classes and pretty much know whats going to happen during the process and the afterwards. Its amazing how much I didn't know about all that I would have to do to take care of myself on top of Ember after I deliver. Its pretty damn high maintenance.
We are going to have to take at least one more class for infant care. Erik has never dealt with a newborn before and i just want to make sure he is prepared. I could definitely use a refresher course, too! I have been around babies my whole life, so I think I am mostly good to go, although, i cant just give her back when she starts crying. This one stays with us. Muah ha ha ha!

The nursery is done. The only thing that would make it complete would be a glider, but those damn things are so freaking expensive and its not a necessity to have it. Its so cute. This is her crib. I don't have pics of the whole room yet.

I am pretty much ready for her to come. Its going to be hard though cause Erik doesn't get any time off to stay home with me and help. He can stay with me at the hospital, but has to go back to work when I get discharged.
Other than the baby almost being here, not much to report.
We moved :)The place is amazing. Prolly the nicest place I have ever lived. I love it. Will prolly have a small BBQ sometime soon. We now live in an HOA complex, so we have to keep quiet for the most part. But that's part of why I love it here. It is SO quiet compared to our last apartments.

Anyways, I think I have reverted to rambling. must go to sleep. Good night all.

31 Weeks today

Its been a little while since I last updated. I am 31 weeks today. It seems like its going by way too fast. Like I am going to blink and she will be here. Although, I think I would be ok with foregoing the whole birthing process, that's for sure!

(above) that's Ember at 30 weeks, taken the morning of my baby shower. Below is my belly. I am getting huge. At least I am showing now. It took awhile. I am starting to get the knowing looks from other women now. I am not sure how to take this. Should I be scared? LOL. I think its a little late for that at this point.

My baby shower was on 8/27/11. It was a lot of fun. We had a lot of people there, although a lot of people also flaked so we overbought on a lot of stuff. We made out like bandits with baby gear. Just have a few of the bigger things left to get and we are set for the first 6 months or so (hopefully...)

Thank you to my Mom, My sister Danielle, Moeesha, Rachel and Jett for making the baby shower all it was. Thank you to those additionally, who came early to help set up. Thank you to my hubby for cooking for everyone and being my knight in shiny armour. It was so freaking hot that day, I was sweating so much. ewwww.

My niece Chelsea, Danielle, and Mom
Melissa, Michelle, Rachel and I
My mother in law, Cindy and niece Heaven
Rachel, Michelle, and I
Ember's cake. it turned out so cute!
My friend Mara, and I. We are only about a week apart in due dates. Thank you for taking a bunch of pics Mara, and for helping us find a house!
The super awesome diaper cake my little sister made me. It even has her name on it and my theme all over it. Love it! Its the center piece on my dining room table. I don't want to take it apart.
Mommy and Daddy to be! I love him.
My favor boxes. I couldn't find them anywhere. ended up ordering them online.. mmmmm Jordan almonds.
Me and the famous Moeesha sash. Love ya Mo!
Erik was making some of the funniest jokes when we were opening the gifts. He was like I dunno if this is going to fit me. LOL

Onto our furry babies. This is Rito. He is just so cute and lovely dovey, but has so much energy. he loves to nibble on your hands. not hard, just playing around.

This is Bean. Such a cutie pie. I cant believe how big they have gotten. People ask us all the time what kind of dogs they are. They are Deer Chihuahuas. The biggest Chihuahuas out there. We didn't even know they would get this big. i am glad they did though. Bean is not as rambunctious as his brother since he broke his leg.

We make horrible jokes with Rito and tell him to calm down or we will break his leg too. LOL. we would never obviously do that. LOL
I couldn't help myself at Target tonight. they have the doggie costumes for Halloween out already. They are "Bad Dogs" LOL. Love it!

In other news, we are moving to an awesome house in Westminster on the 18th of this month. We are currently packing. My friend Mara and her hubby used to live in the house and just moved out last week. In order to help the landlord out(who has a one month old daughter) she spread the word to try to find a new tenant. I am in love with the place! Its 3 bedrooms. David is coming with us and Ember will have a nursery. The house is huge compared to what we have now and has a laundry room and big patio for the dogs. There is also a 2 car garage that is deep enough to have a workshop in it and park two cars inside. Hubby is super stoked on that part. the parking is awesome and its not a huge place with a ton of partiers. its also, all downstairs. Its been so long since I lived in a house, not to mention, a first floor place. So excited!!

I think I am leaving for maternity leave in the middle of October. Prolly around the 14th will be my last day, but nothing is set in stone yet. The goal is to have her on the 1st of November, giving me at least two weeks to relax and prepare for her arrival.

I am still not sure if I am going to have a C-section or push her out. I think I will figure that out at my next appnt on Saturday.

Also, my dad is home from China after 2.5 years of being there. He was there to watch Erik and I get married and then took off and has been home until now. I am so glad he is home, but there is so much to do for him to acclimate him back to US society.

I am really glad he will be here for the birth of Ember.

Anyways, its getting late and I think hubby just finished Sons of Anarchy so its bed time. Love to all. Ciao!

testing

testing 3.2.1

17 Weeks and Counting

Hi all,
Its time for another update.
I am 17 weeks as of today. I am doing well, although I still havent gained any weight. I am barely starting to show though. I was a fatty to start out, so I think this is normal. I cant wait until people will think i am actually pregnant and not just fat. LOL
Recent changes in my body have been stupid stuff like a runny nose that wont end, I am tired (which hasnt changed) and my back is starting to hurt. I am also not sleeping as comfortably as I used to and I know that its only going to get worse. I could get to sleep last night until 2am. LAME... I bought a body pillow for 20 dollars compared to the baby sleep pillow which was like 50. Its helping a bit.

We should be finding out the sex of the baby, hopefully this saturday. If not, then I am going to go get a 3d and be done with it. I am so excited. We want a boy so bad, that I have a feeling its going to be a girl.
I have had some really odd dreams recently. I dreamt that someone was threatening to cut my baby out of me.. which actually happened in an episode of Private Practice and Erik thinks it was just my subconcious thinking of the show.. who knows, either way I woke up and was like WTF!?!

There are so many of us pregnant right now.. Theres three that I know of all due within two weeks of when I am due. pretty crazy and exciting. Play dates, here we come!

I dont know if I mentioned this in my last post, but I found out I get 5 months paid maternity leave which is pretty damn awesome. I also received my review and a very nice raise (imo). My company has started to give me more responsibilities and thank god they are a little more complicated than what I was doing before.. I was almost falling asleep at my desk before. I am thankful that they see the potential and have listened to me in the fact that I want to do something more.

Bean (or Chihuahua) is doing much better. The cast on his leg has been taken off and he is running around like a crazy dog again. (not that his cast kept him from jumping off the couch after his brother anyway)

I feel like there is still so much to do before the baby comes and then I realize I have another 3 months or so and I stop hyperventating and take a deep breathe. So much to do. Our apt is not nearly big enough for the three adults and two dogs, let alone a baby and all the things that come with. We have to move somewhere larger to just fit. Somewhere more inland for sure, cause we sure as shit cant afford to live here with a baby.
I am going to continue to work where I work after my maternity leave is over and that is also something we have to figure out. Who is going to take care of my 4.5 month old for 9 hours a day while I work? so many things to work out...

Anyways, its almost 11 and if I want any sleep at all, I should probably try now..
Goodnight yo... Belly pics soon enough.

13 Weeks

As of yesterday, I am 13 weeks preggers. This saturday we find out if it is a boy or girl. That is, if the baby cooperates and shows that side of it. I am hoping to God it does, because I need to know what colors I am using for its bedding. I am planning on making the nursery set and making everything possible. The ideas are endless!! Here's a picture of the baby at 11 weeks. It's amazing how clear the ultrasound is.


There seems to be just a ton of crap going on in my life right now.
Yesterday was my one year anniversary at my job and I havent gotten a review yet. This has happened to me at every single job I have ever had. It drives me fucking nuts that companies dont have their shit together enough to pay attention to their employees achievements. I understand the big boss is busy trying to open a couple new offices. I am only asking for 15 mins. Yell at me, praise me, encourage me,something! Tell me if I am getting a raise and if so how much? I just dont want to be anxious about it anymore. At my last job, I literally waited 6 months for my one year review. thankfully, they back paid my raises, but shit.

onto another subject:
My puppy Bean (Mr. Refried Bean), was running and ran around behind his crate and clipped his hind left knee on the corner of his crate. He broke a piece of the bone off in his knee area. We took him to an emergency vet on Saturday night. That short visit cost us close to 400 dollars. We were told he needed surgery and pins put in the bone to make him be able to walk again. That was going to cost us 4000 up front. Yeah, um, theres no way in hell we have that. Freaking out, I called a friend who knows a ton about dogs and horses. She referred me to a vet in Garden Grove. Dr. Grant with the Community Veteranarian Hospital quoted us 2000 up front. We tried everything imagineable. Trying to get grants, loans, credit, anything. It turns out a friend of ours (who wishes to remain anonymous) offered to pay for it as a favor. That person is amazing and has no idea what a huge deal this is. I had people telling me to put Bean to sleep. I could never do that. I would have sold everything I owned just to fix that little guys leg. He had the surgery yesterday and is back home... see the baby:


Other than those things, life is good.

Update on baby (7 weeks)

I am now 7 weeks preggers and everything is going well. I've only felt sickles a couple times and that was picking up my dogs poop and driving long distance very slowly in traffic.
I got a call from my docs office the other day. My blood work came back and everything is fine. I'm healthy and all my levels look good.
I have had some cravings. Mostly for fatty stuff. Twix and cheeseburgers are high up on the list. I have only given in a couple times.
I've been super emotional lately thinking of how my Gramps won't be here to see my baby. My niece was the light of his life, and I wish that we could have had more great grandbabies to bring him joy. I miss him so much. I talk to him through god in my prayers and I update him on the baby. I believe that he's here with me, but it doesn't make the pain go away.
I also am worried that my dad won't make it home to see the birth of his grandkid. Him being so far away has been really hard too. Shit, I'm tearing up now. Damn hormones.

We r currently looking for a house of some sort that does not have stairs, cause I am not going to be able to make it up the stairs very well, once I get much bigger. We also have two chihuahua puppies that are very energetic, so we need a yard or a big patio for them, because we can't have them going crazy around a newborn. Anyone know of any decently priced three bedrooms in orange county. Wait a sec, that might just be asking too much!

Work is good, I've been covering a desk in our Mission Viejo office this week, while a coworker has been on vacation. I can't wait to get back to my desk. It has been nice seeing some of my old coworkers from before our office split, but the commute sucks balls.

I got a flat tire this week too. A friend graciously paid for me to get another tire, because I don't have any money until I get paid again. There are almost three weeks between paychecks this month, so we are struggling something fierce. My friend is so sweet. I won't mention a name, because I think she wishes for it to remain between us. I can say this, I am so glad to have met her and to have her support. She was appalled when I told her I was driving on a donut to mission viejo. Love her!

Anyways, I need to get to bed. Greasy anatomy and Private Practice were really good tonight. Woohoo!
Good night world

We are PREGNANT!

Who woulda thunk it would only take two months to get pregnant after being on Birth Control for 12 YEARS!?!!! I certainly didnt. I thought it would take a year or more.

Erik and I had a huge St. Patty's Day BBQ and I had planned a day of drunken debauchery. The day before, on the way home from work, I got an idea. I should probably take a pregnancy test and make sure I'm not going to jack up a baby with my drinking. I had noticed a couple changes in my body and was hopefull, but cautious. Well, it turns out I am pregnant!

I am six weeks and 1 day today. I went to my doc today (thanks for the referal Sis). This doc is amazing! First thing he did was sit me down in his little office and ask me if I had any questions. I questioned him like a drill seargent and he smiled while answering everything.

He took ultrasounds and determined that I am due on 11-8-2011. I am going to try for a delivery date of 11-1-11 or 11-11-11. I think that would be cool. If it is a boy and he's born on one of those days, I think I might have to call him Ace. LMAO.

We have names picked out mostly. I'm not going to share just quite yet.

Tonight we went to Babies R Us and looked at all the options for furniture and strollers, etc. There is some super cute stuff out there. It is also super pricey! Thankfully I can make some of my own stuff like the bedding, etc.

This is the baby! Its the little tiny gray thing inside the circle to the right. The doc showed me its heart beating. I cried.. Sniff Sniff.
Hubby has been super supportive. Making sure I eat right and packing me breakfast and snacks. I rarely used to eat Breakfast, but I'm afraid if I dont now, Erik will kick my ass (proverbially). He basically would do anything for me. Not letting me lift things and such. So cute. He was good to me before, but dang! Love him!!

Work is being supportive. All my coworkers are excited for me and it's really nice knowing that I have that happiness around me all the time.

There are a couple people in my life who are not happy that I am pregnant. But, let me tell you this: This pregnancy was planned. It was not something Erik and I took lightly. If you dont like it, then you can piss off or keep your damn mouth shut. I am not about to start feeling depressed because someone doesnt like something that wont affect them at all. I'm sorry, but thats how I feel.

This baby will be loved, cherished, nourished and cared for deeply.

I should probably go to bed! eek its Midnight..

love to you all.

Damara

My Craft Room / Studio

As of about a week and a half ago, my mom and brothers have moved onto bigger and better things. My mom found a place in Hemet for a sweet price. She really likes it, although she says my brothers are seriously homesick. I cant blame them. I am sure I will feel the same way when we eventually move out the area. That's going to suck!!
When we originally decided to move into a 2 bedroom apt, I decided I wanted to use the other room for a sewing/craft room. Needless to say, things went south and the room was in use until last week. I just barely got to start using it. I have finally finished setting up and used it for the first time last night, if only to take in my sister's shirt. It was so nice to not have to lug out my sewing machine and set it all up just to do one little sewing job. Everything is layed out and ready for me to use. See: Thats my sewing desk. I took an old camping fold up table and covered with with teal spandex with my staple gun. I love how it turned out. Its so bright!
This is my scrapbooking desk to the right in the picture and to the left is my Cricut station.

This is my cutting table/Station. It will be so nice to not have to lay out fabric on the floor and be on my hands and knees killing my back, just to cut out a pattern, or to draw one.

I have a stereo set up on a shelf, so I can be rocking some tunes while working away.

All in all, I am very happy with the set up. I think tomorrow, I will start working on this dress I have designed for myself. I am making it with some fabric that I bought at Mood. I loved that store. The only problem, is that that are so expensive!! It's fun knowing that I am using the same kind of fabric that the contestants on Project Runway use.

That is all for now. I will continue to post updates on the dress and any other crafts I am working on.

Toodalooo!