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Bubble baths and things having nothing to do with them

I'm laying in a bubble bath after an especially frustrating day at work. The fucking water in my bath smells so amazing like lemon cookies. Two things wrong here: Bath and Body works doesn't make this scent any more and the water is slowly draining... gaw! Which means I will have to return to real life soon. I don't take me time too much anymore, and it's really nice of the bf to grant me this, however shortlived it might feel.
Update since the last blog entry: I ended up finding a job in Anaheim hills pretty quickly. I took a severe pay cut but at least it was something coming in. The commute was terrible and I was in general not a happy person. About a month later, I got offered a much better job, with alot more pay and a better commute into tustin. I take the ortega now, which is beautiful and a lot less road rage inducing. It doesn't take me 3 hours to get home a Friday from this job.
This new job is good and I got a raise after being there for only three weeks. Not too shabby!

Things are definitely better. Still have to get Ember into day care. As of right now the bf is watching her while I work.  I've got to get her into day care so he can get a job too. We are afloat, but just barely. I'm gonna try to pay off my truck with my taxes if I can. That will free up a grip of money every month.

Ember has since turned three! She's as big as a 5 year old, too. She is adorable, but also a little punk. She doesn't listen and she is definitely in the horrible threes. I'm hoping day care will calm her down. We had a princess party and some of her new friends showed up to play with her. So cute!

As frustrated as I am with her dad right now, he definitely gave me something precious. He needs to sign the damn papers already!!!!
I'm ready to move on with my life. I'm happy with someone else.

....back to reality and the water is getting colder..

This Year Has Been Amazeballs

This year has been all about change. Change of jobs, significant others, locations, etc.
All of it has been good in the end, with exception to where we live.
Our roof was leaking so bad that it was raining in our living room. The roof had to be completely replaced and there was black mold everywhere... Just love where we live.

Since my last post, when I was unemployed and broke, I found a job with an attorney's office. I liked working there a lot, however the commute and the pay was not where I needed it to be. I have since gone to another job and now work for another escrow company, with a better commute and more money. I like my job. It is challenging and I like the people I work with. I got a call from the owner directly, telling me I am doing an amazing job and she appreciates how hard I work. She even gave me a raise. I had only been here for 3 weeks at that time! Good stuff.

Ember has since turned 3. She is the biggest three year old I have ever seen. She is the size of a 5 year old and has the attitude of a prepubesent boy. Ugh. She is definitely holding onto her terrible two, for sure.

We just graduated her from her toddler bed to a full size bed, complete with Doc McStuffins sheets. She LOVES it!

Finally got rid of my wedding rings, after trying for a long time to find the right price to sell it for.
We were pretty desperate for money at the time that I sold it, so it came at the right time.

Things are looking up, but its gonna be a while before I am completly caught up on everything. I need to pay for several things for my vehicle and I am putting a ton of miles on my truck with my commute over the Ortega every morning and night.

Things with Wayne and I are great. We havent fought and its been a year since we started dating. CRAZY. its just so easy being with him. I love him.

This next year can only get better. Going to get Ember into day care and then Wayne can get a job. Then we are moving out of God-forsaken Lake Elsinore and back to Orange County.

Some pics of the stuff we have done recently:

Our Life at The Moment

Currently, we are moved into the new, nasty apartment. Pretty much everything that was promised to us by management, has been bullshit. Nothing was as they said it was. Super disappointing and super unprofessional. This shit would not fly if we were in the O.C.
Got some shitty news, too. My past employer that I quit at, appealed EDD's decision to grant me unemployment and they won the appeal hearing. I am not working, nor am I receiving unemployment benefits. Freaking out does not begin to explain where my head is it. Financially, as always, I am in a place where I am screwed. I am not sure why my luck has always been so shitty with money. My best friend told me on the phone last night, that I am one of the smartest and talented people she knows. If that's the case, then why am I always in such a shitty predicament, financially?  I work and I am good at every job I have had, Of course, I only take jobs in the industry I know, and I have been laid off sooooo many times. I just need a break. Life needs to look in my favor for once.
I finally did the (unfortunately) financially responsible thing and moved to a more affordable area. Now, I cant find a job and the opportunities I have been presented with are so far away, its almost not even worth it.
I want to be independent. I don't want to depend of the county and family for help. Everyone is in need sometime, I know. But for me, I want to just do it myself. I am THIRTY FUCKING YEARS OLD NOW! Shouldn't I have my shit together by now? I need to keep it together for  my kid, but all I want to do is sleep all day and pretend its not happening.
Wayne coming into my life when he did, is probably one of the biggest blessings I have ever gotten. The support and love he has provided to my daughter and I is not one that someone would expect. He came into an impossible situation and has managed to stick it through with me and be the best boyfriend ever. I've decided I am keeping him. That is that.

I know there are opportunities out there for us. I just need to keep my head up and find them. I have a couple of great friends feeding me leads and resources and for that, I am super grateful.

On a side note, my sewing machine was acting up and the tension and bobbin thread kept getting fucked up. I was quoted $70 to get it serviced and fixed. Tonight, I decided to really try to do it myself. I Youtubed that shit, and guess what, that bitch is working perfect like the day I dropped a grip of money on her.
So, I am available for sewing jobs now. Woot!
Also just finished setting up our craft area. I've got my sewing area and Wayne's art area, instead of a dining room. Who eats at their kitchen table anymore, anyway?

I should really get to bed, but this is somewhat therapeutic, just getting my thoughts out while everyone is sleeping.
Oh Yeah! I just turned THIRTY FUCKING YEARS OLD and had a big party before we moved. It was a ton of fun and I am so glad so many people came out to celebrate with me. Pics below. I was pretty wasted by the end of it. LOL. One of my best friends even planned with our other bestie and flew our from San Francisco for my birthday. So happy to see her and everyone else!!!

New HOME

On September 12th, 2014, Wayne, Dad, Rex, and I loaded up the Budget truck with everything from my house and all Wayne 's stuff from his house. It took forever and was one of the hottest weekends of the summer. The next day, we drove to the new place  in Elsinore and we're ready to unpack the truck. Ten of us were there to unpack. We go to sign the lease and the apartment is trashed. The walls are terrible, the cabinets have bad water damage, the place wasn't clean, the closet rails were broken, cabinets weren't shutting. You name it, it was jacked up. We have to wait a couple days for them to fix everything.  The place blows, but we don't have any choice. We got all moved in for the most part. Still have a couple things left at the old place.

We don't want to live here, it's so hot and it's dry and there's nothing to do out here!
I'm a city girl. Take me back!

We are just going to make the best of it and make it ours. It's been fun playing sleepover all the time, but this is the real thing. Love it.

Busy weekend!

What I thought was going to be a ho hum weekend, turned out to be super fun.

Sarurday, Wayne and I took Ember and Autumn hiking at O'Neal Park. Was super pretty out and we went about two miles up, total.
It was hot out, but really pretty. 

Sunday, we went to Alertos for breakfast and headed to the Irvine transportation center. We took the bus to the Orange County Fair. They have an awesome deal going on where you can take the bus round trip for 4.00 and get into the fair for 3 dollars. You mean I don't have to pay fornparking, walk 5 blocks to get in, and the tickets to get in are cheaper? 
Had such a great time. My favorite part was in the butterfly tent. We had these beautiful butterflies all around us. I had bought a cow girl hat, and the butterflies loved landing on it. I had 6 butterflies on me at one time. Ember had a blast in there. They landed in her hair and on her hand. Such huge smiles!
She went on a couple rides and Wayne won her some stuffed animals. Walked around a lot. My feet hurt.
Ended the day in the jacuzzi.
Wonderful weekend with my two loves.

Still pinching myself and having thoughts i shouldn't.

I need to be divorced already.

I Deserve Better Than That Shit!

So the job I got back in January was great for a couple months. It's almost like something just flipped overnight and it became a nightmare. 

My boss was very harried in all aspects of his life. He hand too many things going on and a bitchy attorney as a wife. All of this cause him to create so much havoc for me his assistant, that he made me crazy stressed out all the time. He would tell me to do things as emergencies, and so I would drop other things and do that item, and then he wouldn't even look at the results for over a week or two and then would ask me for it and it will have sat unread in his email. The communication. Was terrible and cause too much stress. He also expected me to work from home without pay. He wouldnt explain how to do things and would expect me to research it and then would bitch about how long it took to complete. If he would have just explained things to me, it wouldn't have taken so long. He was very unclear about a lot of things. That's why I quit. Last tuesday, I up and left on my lunch and have not looked back. 

So i am looking for a job again, in the same field, for better money. I need to move in September and need to be ale to hack it on my own with no help. Her dad isn't helping at all and it's not going to be pretty when I move. 

So things will be changing soon. Can't say too much about it, but things are in the works. All for the better. 

Everything else is good. Ember is growing like a weed, totally in the terrible twos and is destroying my house. Wayne is the best boyfriend  ever and I am head over heels. 

Love Is In The Air!

I'm in love! and I couldn't be any happier.
He finally told me he loved me the other night. It was very sweet. We talked about how we had felt it for a while but he was worried about the timing and how I might react because I am still married and scared of getting hurt because I had moved too quickly in the past. It was very sweet of him and understanding of the situation. I have been very lucky that he has been so understanding of the sensitivity of every aspect of the situation, since the beginning.
He has had experiences in his life (mainly others around him) that have helped him to be so understanding and so good with Ember, and I am very grateful for that.
He doesn't have any children of his own, but is so good with Ember and knows the next step before I even do it and it right there helping me along the way.
We were talking the other night and I think I may have been frustrated at the time (I think). I basically said that being a single mom blows, and he didn't say anything for a minute. As soon as I said that, I felt horrible, because Wayne is so much a help with her and so involved, when it really isn't his responsibility.  He was like, well, you aren't exactly a single mom.. And I apologized. I felt bad.
It isn't every day that you have someone fall into your lap that is so understanding and so on the same page and compatible with you. Especially when you are at the end of a marriage and working on getting divorced and a small child is involved. It just doesn't happen. I pinch myself sometimes in disbelief.
All in all, I am happy. There are only a few more things that would make my life completely satiated. All in good time. No rush.

Sickies

Ember and mommy are sickies with a viral infection. She came home from her Aunty and cousin's house with pink eye and ear infections and a cold. she ended up having fevers as well. Took her to the er and got the good meds. It's a week later and she is still sick with the cold and a knarly cough. I have the cold and cough too. This is the second time I have been sick with this in a month. We ended up going to the er again this morning and they ran a chest X-ray on me to check for pneumonia. They thought because inhale to back to back colds, that I may have pneumonia. Thankfully, I do not and we both just have to let our colds run their course.

Unfortunately, we will be missing out on Draven's birthday party this weekend. Hopefully we will feel better and can do something fun this weekend. 

I am thankful that my boss has three kids and is super involved in their lives, because he understands me staying home with her today. 

Wayne is either sick too, or has bad allergies. Either way, we all feel like poo.